Since I last wrote a blog post... I keep having these great intentions to get on here and catch up on what has been going on in my life and then I tell myself "later, I'll get to it later." and later just keeps escaping me.
So considering I just spent the last 30 minutes-ish getting Steven's Leapster Explorer connected on my laptop and the program downloaded, and then the free app uploaded to his device I decided I'd take a few minutes for myself.
I can't even begin to fully update on whats been going on in our crazy busy lives, and our lives just only seem to be more busy and crazy each and everyday.
The last post I wrote was in September. Just after Alyx and I had been crazy and run our first Ultra-marathon (yes I said first, we've got another planned towards the end of February and I'm sure more to come after that). I hadn't yet gone and gotten my fabulous first tattoo, done by Monty at "Living Art Tattoo Gallery" here in San Clemente which I love and can't wait to go back for my next one! I also hadn't yet gone on my week long adventure with Challenged Athletes Foundation on their Million Dollar Challenge.
I think that is probably one of the biggest things that I need to update on. But after re-reading what I just wrote I've decided that I will make a separate post on that all together just because it was such an amazing adventure. Matthew left at the end of October to go to Japan for a year-ish, and I say "ish" because its guaranteed for a year with the possibility of extension through to the end of his current contract.
Since then I've been getting back into the swing of being a single parent, I've done it before but it was when Steven was first born and his was 100% dependent on me for everything and I wasn't working or working out. So juggling life has been interesting, between jobs (not all of them understanding why things have changed or just how much in reality they really have changed) and all the day to day stuff that I now get to do 100% on my own. I don't have a partner at home who can maybe get dinner started or run a load of laundry or dishes... I'm taking care of the dog, the child, the house, the cars, and my own individual things.
I've had a few people comment on it, and not always in a positive manner. Yes I'm busy, yes if I didn't workout most everyday I would have more time, yes if I wasn't trying to accomplish at least one other NPC event this following year and a few runs thrown in there for fun then I would have more time... BUT guess what?!?!!!
None of your business!
I do those things specifically for me. For my sanity, my happiness... and let me just say that Steven is better off having a mother who pursues her own goals and happiness outside of the family because I am a much happier person, and much calmer person when I get in my workouts and when I have goals that I am personally working towards.
Ok so my house isn't the cleanest place you've ever seen, I have a 4.5 year old boy and a dog that sheds at least one shitzu a day in hair... I don't scrub my floor boards, and the only reason I have a pinterest account is because I've "pinned" a couple of things so I can find them more easily than doing an internet search each time I need it. I'm not a Suzy Homemaker, and I've never claimed to be. The last time I tried to live that role I started to regret my life and hate the fact that I was married and had a child - but in reality I didn't actually hate it, just the fact that I'd lost Zori so successfully in the depths of housecleaning and diaper changing.
Life right now is nothing that I recognize from 3 months ago... And I'm trying to come to grips with that. I've had to ask people for help, and I really truly dislike asking for help... I'm the fixer. But I've had to reach out a hand to friends, and neighbors to accomplish things. I feel like there are times that I have so many things that I'm juggling that there is no possible way to accomplish it all. At the same time I'm realizing just how blessed I am having these people in my life. Friends who have stepped up and gone beyond what they really "need" to do and have helped me.
If I've forgotten to say it, or haven't said enough. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Alyx, Hellen, Lindsay, Ari, Tracy, Patricia, Tiffany, and so many more. Thank you too your boyfriends, and husbands for helping out when I truly need a "man" to accomplish something and my grasp of "man-ness" has failed me.
I've taken as much time as I can currently. Blessings.
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