So I've committed. July 21st is my next NPC Bikini competition, and I'm running the Tough Mudder in the beginning of July (either the 8th or 9th not sure yet) with Alyx.
This past Saturday was exactly 8 weeks from the competition. I let myself have this holiday weekend to enjoy the last few treats that I get for a while, Saturday some heard me saying that it was my "last day" and I meant for it to be... But then I enjoyed breakfast on Sunday and then some chocolate at the beach with Alyx on Monday, and a s'mores bar with the next door neighbors that night before bed.
I'm not upset about it - just being honest that we all give in to temptation.
But today I hit the ground running, wicked workout and clean eating. I know that it will take me a couple of days to get back in the swing of super clean eating, I'll definitely be missing my "cheats", but once I'm in this and committed I'll buck up and buckle down.
Still considering going Vegetarian, Pescitarian, Vegan, not sure...
Clean is the main goal.
Organic, when it truly matters.
Local sustainable is the next.
I know in the long run I feel better the cleaner I eat. I sleep better, I don't feel sluggish mid-afternoon, and my outlook on life is just nicer.
I'm probably going to be whining a lot in the next few weeks - today proved just how much I haven't been pushing myself since the last competition. Not horrid, but definitely felt the workout sooner than I was used to.
Looking forward to this though - the joy of sweating myself silly, of seeing the daily progress, of knowing that I'm working at being the healthiest that I can be and doing it the right way. Lean proteins, veggies, some fruits. It all makes me happy :)
I'll start updating more regularly, posting the workouts, and trying to do upkeep photos. No photos this week, but hopefully I'll get some for you next week. Anyone what to join in on my workouts, or join me for runs let me know. I love to share what I've learned with others, I enjoy picking your brain, and having conversations about healthy lifestyles and choices that we've made. Blessings.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Trying to find the postitive
Our lives are about to change in a big way.
Matthew got web orders not quite two weeks ago, HE will be going to Japan sometime in October for at least one year (possible extension up to two years). This is an unaccompanied tour. So that means Steven and I will not be going with him. We've decided that we will stay in San Clemente, and are currently bouncing around the idea of either staying on base or moving out on town.
Here's my positive on this change of events.
The last time he deployed it was to Iraq, and it wound up being about 12.5 months. He was getting shot at, blown up, not eating much, and living in a location where they didn't have a real chow hall or real bathrooms.
This time he is going to Japan. No one will be shooting at him or trying to blow him up. He will be stuck on a base out in the middle of no where but he will have real food, a real barracks with a roof over his head, and most importantly he will be safe.
I've decided that we need to keep living our lives like normal. Steven and I will stay here in CA. He's starting pre-school, and has friends here. I've got my jobs, friends, and hobbies that keep me happy.
In the next few months I have a few things planned for me to help keep my mood bolstered and have happy healthy goals to shoot for.
1.) Some photo shoots with amazing friends/photographers.
2.) Tough Mudder with Alyx, July 8th or 9th, and sponsored by FRS!!!
3.) Another NPC Bikini contest, July 21st, up in Culver City.
4.) Tickets to see my PACK play the Chargers August 9th!!! I've never seen them play in person and I DO NOT care that its pre-season, I still get to see them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On top of this is figuring out what we're doing about certain things in our lives, like I said we are considering moving off base. I am lucky in the fact that I have a few neighbors who I enjoy the company of - at the same time living on base sometimes feels like you are in a cluster-fuck of a fishbowl. We have to work out how finances are going to work. So that neither Matthew or I fuck up a bill pay cycle or anything of that nature.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm going to basically be a single parent for at least a year. This isn't new in the Marine Corps, but its pretty new to me. The last time Matthew deployed Steven wasn't even born yet, and then was a newborn. Now he's completely aware of things. And there are days that he has meltdowns that Daddy is at work and can't come home right that second. I know we will figure it out and will survive it, but it doesn't mean that I'm looking forward to always having to be the heavy for everything.
I'm hoping that by some magic stroke of luck I might be able to turn my NPC Contests into something that I can make money at... Not sure yet how I want to go about doing it - but seeing as I LOVE what I do. Love the fact that I'm proud of the changes I've made in myself, and also the fact that I have people who are willing to ask me for tips/pointers because they are impressed with what I've done - I'm interested in seeing if I can turn this into a career somehow.
There is a lot more going on, but this is all the time I have at the moment. Hope you are all doing well. Blessings.
Matthew got web orders not quite two weeks ago, HE will be going to Japan sometime in October for at least one year (possible extension up to two years). This is an unaccompanied tour. So that means Steven and I will not be going with him. We've decided that we will stay in San Clemente, and are currently bouncing around the idea of either staying on base or moving out on town.
Here's my positive on this change of events.
The last time he deployed it was to Iraq, and it wound up being about 12.5 months. He was getting shot at, blown up, not eating much, and living in a location where they didn't have a real chow hall or real bathrooms.
This time he is going to Japan. No one will be shooting at him or trying to blow him up. He will be stuck on a base out in the middle of no where but he will have real food, a real barracks with a roof over his head, and most importantly he will be safe.
I've decided that we need to keep living our lives like normal. Steven and I will stay here in CA. He's starting pre-school, and has friends here. I've got my jobs, friends, and hobbies that keep me happy.
In the next few months I have a few things planned for me to help keep my mood bolstered and have happy healthy goals to shoot for.
1.) Some photo shoots with amazing friends/photographers.
2.) Tough Mudder with Alyx, July 8th or 9th, and sponsored by FRS!!!
3.) Another NPC Bikini contest, July 21st, up in Culver City.
4.) Tickets to see my PACK play the Chargers August 9th!!! I've never seen them play in person and I DO NOT care that its pre-season, I still get to see them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On top of this is figuring out what we're doing about certain things in our lives, like I said we are considering moving off base. I am lucky in the fact that I have a few neighbors who I enjoy the company of - at the same time living on base sometimes feels like you are in a cluster-fuck of a fishbowl. We have to work out how finances are going to work. So that neither Matthew or I fuck up a bill pay cycle or anything of that nature.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm going to basically be a single parent for at least a year. This isn't new in the Marine Corps, but its pretty new to me. The last time Matthew deployed Steven wasn't even born yet, and then was a newborn. Now he's completely aware of things. And there are days that he has meltdowns that Daddy is at work and can't come home right that second. I know we will figure it out and will survive it, but it doesn't mean that I'm looking forward to always having to be the heavy for everything.
I'm hoping that by some magic stroke of luck I might be able to turn my NPC Contests into something that I can make money at... Not sure yet how I want to go about doing it - but seeing as I LOVE what I do. Love the fact that I'm proud of the changes I've made in myself, and also the fact that I have people who are willing to ask me for tips/pointers because they are impressed with what I've done - I'm interested in seeing if I can turn this into a career somehow.
There is a lot more going on, but this is all the time I have at the moment. Hope you are all doing well. Blessings.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Late night
So I've been pondering over this for the last couple of days, with everything that I've been dealing with the last two weeks I just haven't been pushing myself at the gym or being super strict on my diet...
I'm not doing the June 9th competition, I might do the June 30th or pick another one later in July...
I DO want to compete again - but don't feel like I can get to where I expect myself to be in time for the 9th, and I'd rather be happy with the way that I look then give in and do a competition when I'm not 100% happy with my body.
It comes down to a balancing act. Family happiness vs Personal happiness.
Matthew and I have hit a rough patch lately. Stress with everything is getting to us. Nothing outside of normal married life stuff: work, money (the always seemingly lack of it), kiddo, etc. But you add into that the fact that we just found out that he will be getting sent to Japan for at least a year sometime in October, and the last 5 days have been interesting.
Hell, who am I kidding. We've both been stressed for weeks before this. There comes a point in every marriage where you feel like you have to take stock of the situation, revaluate.
We're doing better, trying to figure out ways to help each other with the "problems" that we see/have.
And then the Marine Corps tosses this new Green Weeny in our laps. I knew the last year of this contract was going to mean going back to the fleet, and had prepared myself for getting uprooted and moved to North Carolina - I hadn't even considered getting shafted with a 1-year unaccompanied tour to Japan (or anywhere else for that matter) AND to top it off, if Matthew either extends for one year (if he doesn't pick up SSgt before this contract is up) or reenlists for another 4, there is a good chance that they will extend his stay in Japan to total 2 years (which is the usual time for an unaccompanied tour).
I'm freaking out.
The last time I got to wear the "single parent" hat, Steven was just born... I mean... Yes, newborns are CRAZY dependent on you BUT they aren't aware of who is there all the time and who isn't. There are days now when Steven freaks out because Daddy is at work all day, and he doesn't like the fact that he can't come home because Steven wants to play.
We're looking into having me move off base, not because I don't enjoy the friends that I've made with some of my neighbors but because we realize that a lot of them will be moving within the next year or so - and as a Massage Therapist I've already dealt with enough rumors as to what I do when I have "clients" over to my house :-/ Steven and I will be staying in Southern California, we both love it here, and I'm hoping that if we move off base (I'm still not 100% on that) that we are close to the beach.
There are literally so many thoughts bouncing around in my head right now that I can't gather them enough to make sense, that combined with the late hour and I'm sure this entire post is rambling...
I'm stressed.
Enough that I'm letting it get to me. My stomach is in knots, I'm not sleeping well, and I feel like daily life is bogging me down at times.
The gym is my peaceful time, usually, and it doesn't help that I've missed two days this week because I was covering shifts back at my old job in Irvine.
Alyx and I are getting together this weekend to reevaluate what I want to do for me.
I want to do another show - I just need to pick a more reasonable time frame (which she pushed me to do, but I was bullheaded and didn't want to listen)
We have sponsorship for running the SoCal Tough Mudder in July :) I'm totally stoked for it! So now its time to sit down with a big calendar and start seeing what all is going to be going on in our lives for the next 4-6 months.
I need to at some point have an honesty session on here, talk about issues that Matthew and I are dealing with, my love/hate with food and how it love/hates my body, the stress I feel at times being a mom and the fact that I don't feel like I succeed a lot of the time, the joy I have in being a mom and how I'm never quite sure how I was blessed with such an amazing child, the fact that I wish I was OCD so that my house didn't look like the stye it looks like right now, and also the fact that I need to go through all of my shit and get rid of the excess crap that I really truly utterly do not need in my life (like the boxes that haven't been unpacked since they got sent down here)
But I'll save that for another time, when I'm not so tired, and not looking with dread at a wake-up time thats creeping ever so closer.
I'm not doing the June 9th competition, I might do the June 30th or pick another one later in July...
I DO want to compete again - but don't feel like I can get to where I expect myself to be in time for the 9th, and I'd rather be happy with the way that I look then give in and do a competition when I'm not 100% happy with my body.
It comes down to a balancing act. Family happiness vs Personal happiness.
Matthew and I have hit a rough patch lately. Stress with everything is getting to us. Nothing outside of normal married life stuff: work, money (the always seemingly lack of it), kiddo, etc. But you add into that the fact that we just found out that he will be getting sent to Japan for at least a year sometime in October, and the last 5 days have been interesting.
Hell, who am I kidding. We've both been stressed for weeks before this. There comes a point in every marriage where you feel like you have to take stock of the situation, revaluate.
We're doing better, trying to figure out ways to help each other with the "problems" that we see/have.
And then the Marine Corps tosses this new Green Weeny in our laps. I knew the last year of this contract was going to mean going back to the fleet, and had prepared myself for getting uprooted and moved to North Carolina - I hadn't even considered getting shafted with a 1-year unaccompanied tour to Japan (or anywhere else for that matter) AND to top it off, if Matthew either extends for one year (if he doesn't pick up SSgt before this contract is up) or reenlists for another 4, there is a good chance that they will extend his stay in Japan to total 2 years (which is the usual time for an unaccompanied tour).
I'm freaking out.
The last time I got to wear the "single parent" hat, Steven was just born... I mean... Yes, newborns are CRAZY dependent on you BUT they aren't aware of who is there all the time and who isn't. There are days now when Steven freaks out because Daddy is at work all day, and he doesn't like the fact that he can't come home because Steven wants to play.
We're looking into having me move off base, not because I don't enjoy the friends that I've made with some of my neighbors but because we realize that a lot of them will be moving within the next year or so - and as a Massage Therapist I've already dealt with enough rumors as to what I do when I have "clients" over to my house :-/ Steven and I will be staying in Southern California, we both love it here, and I'm hoping that if we move off base (I'm still not 100% on that) that we are close to the beach.
There are literally so many thoughts bouncing around in my head right now that I can't gather them enough to make sense, that combined with the late hour and I'm sure this entire post is rambling...
I'm stressed.
Enough that I'm letting it get to me. My stomach is in knots, I'm not sleeping well, and I feel like daily life is bogging me down at times.
The gym is my peaceful time, usually, and it doesn't help that I've missed two days this week because I was covering shifts back at my old job in Irvine.
Alyx and I are getting together this weekend to reevaluate what I want to do for me.
I want to do another show - I just need to pick a more reasonable time frame (which she pushed me to do, but I was bullheaded and didn't want to listen)
We have sponsorship for running the SoCal Tough Mudder in July :) I'm totally stoked for it! So now its time to sit down with a big calendar and start seeing what all is going to be going on in our lives for the next 4-6 months.
I need to at some point have an honesty session on here, talk about issues that Matthew and I are dealing with, my love/hate with food and how it love/hates my body, the stress I feel at times being a mom and the fact that I don't feel like I succeed a lot of the time, the joy I have in being a mom and how I'm never quite sure how I was blessed with such an amazing child, the fact that I wish I was OCD so that my house didn't look like the stye it looks like right now, and also the fact that I need to go through all of my shit and get rid of the excess crap that I really truly utterly do not need in my life (like the boxes that haven't been unpacked since they got sent down here)
But I'll save that for another time, when I'm not so tired, and not looking with dread at a wake-up time thats creeping ever so closer.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Waffling
I've spent the last week going back and forth in my mind on whether or not I'm going to do this next competition...
Partly because of my own doubts, but also because I haven't gotten the support that I was hoping for from a few key individuals.
And I remembered today as I was KILLING myself at the gym.
This isn't about anyone else, this is about me. Being able to be happy with myself. Not just physically but also mentally. I'm happiest with myself when I've got a goal that I'm working towards.
It was nice giving myself a kick in the mental butt. So I'm committing to it. I need to push myself to meet my goals. No more "sure I can have an extra piece of whatever" because even though normally it wouldn't affect me (enough to count) it does at the moment.
Today I commit to doing the next show June 9. Not a lot of time, a month, but I know I can buckle down and do it!
Now time to break out the heels and start practicing my posing :)
Partly because of my own doubts, but also because I haven't gotten the support that I was hoping for from a few key individuals.
And I remembered today as I was KILLING myself at the gym.
This isn't about anyone else, this is about me. Being able to be happy with myself. Not just physically but also mentally. I'm happiest with myself when I've got a goal that I'm working towards.
It was nice giving myself a kick in the mental butt. So I'm committing to it. I need to push myself to meet my goals. No more "sure I can have an extra piece of whatever" because even though normally it wouldn't affect me (enough to count) it does at the moment.
Today I commit to doing the next show June 9. Not a lot of time, a month, but I know I can buckle down and do it!
Now time to break out the heels and start practicing my posing :)
Only a couple of days late :)
This weeks workout/meal plan.
Meal Plan:
Unlimited fruit before 2 pm.
Unlimited veggies all day.
3 x protein
1 carbohydrate serving a day (not counting fruit/veggies, but rice cakes or the like)
Workout Plan
Day 1, 3, & 6:
1 hour run
30 minutes of abs
30 minutes of some other cardio
Day 2:
100 Pull-ups
4 x 25 Lat pull-downs (80-120lbs)
4 x 25 Seated Row (80-120lbs)
4 x 25 Renegade Rows (20-25lbs)
4 x 25 Good Mornings (45lb weight plate)
4 x 25 Military Shoulder Press (20-30lbs)
4 x 25 Frontal/Lateral Shoulder Raises (10-15lbs)
Day 4:
500 Squats
250 lunges each side
(3 x 33) x 3 Smith Calf Raises
200 Bench Jumps
200 Single leg dead-lift each side
Meal Plan:
Unlimited fruit before 2 pm.
Unlimited veggies all day.
3 x protein
1 carbohydrate serving a day (not counting fruit/veggies, but rice cakes or the like)
Workout Plan
Day 1, 3, & 6:
1 hour run
30 minutes of abs
30 minutes of some other cardio
Day 2:
100 Pull-ups
4 x 25 Lat pull-downs (80-120lbs)
4 x 25 Seated Row (80-120lbs)
4 x 25 Renegade Rows (20-25lbs)
4 x 25 Good Mornings (45lb weight plate)
4 x 25 Military Shoulder Press (20-30lbs)
4 x 25 Frontal/Lateral Shoulder Raises (10-15lbs)
Day 4:
500 Squats
250 lunges each side
(3 x 33) x 3 Smith Calf Raises
200 Bench Jumps
200 Single leg dead-lift each side
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