Sunday March 18th

Another early morning photo shoot at Miss Alyx's apartment. We decided to skip going to Starbucks or Tea leaf & Coffee Bean, and just do tea at her place so that we could do photos, workout plan/meal plan, girl talk etc without dealing with other people being around.

Really getting into the nit-pick stage of body refining, trying to isolate certain body parts - especially when you've never trained like this - is difficult. Both Alyx and I aren't sure how quickly my body will respond and honestly its kind of a pain. Trying to get this to time out perfectly with the competition in 4 weeks, so that I don't hit anything too early and have to try and maintain a plateau is going to take some work. Neither of us are still really happy with my upper/inner thigh region (frankly I've got to admit that I don't think I'll ever be happy with that portion of my body), the low abs could still use some work, and I want to tighten up my low back. AND always the butt. Its ridiculous how important the BUTT is.

And its ridiculous how much I'm starting to feel the loss of my carbs. Last night Matthew and I got a chance to go out for a little while without Steven, Alyx watched him for us so we could go eat a meal without having little person chatter the whole time. We went out for Sushi, well Matthew got sushi and I got Sushimi, which I do enjoy but at the same time not allowing myself to have the option for anything else I was kind of bummed about. I more than ate my fill of raw fish, really good raw fish, but I was craving something more... I texted Alyx and asked her what I could have that would be a "cheat" but not be awful. FRUIT was her answer. Usually I'd be like whattt? Thats a cheat?! But right now it so is! So I enjoyed an orange and didn't feel guilty for it.

I'm realizing that I really need to plan ahead in everything. Having pre-made snacks put together in my bag really helps so that if my blood sugar starts to drop I can munch and make it through. Otherwise I start to get very irritable, moody, and tired. It was explained to me that I basically have to think of myself as PMS'ing from now until the show. Fun times! Especially for those around me.

Even as I'm typing this I'm feeling myself start to phase a bit, and I'm having a harder time collecting my thoughts to get them down. Hold on, I'll be back in a bit after I grab some veggies and protein to eat.

Better.

I figure this is a place that I can be honest about things, like how my body really isn't enjoying this diet. Its so high in protein that I'm having to make sure that I'm getting enough fiber. I've never had a problem with that before, but I have to be really careful with my veggies now to make sure that everything keeps working correctly.

I'm also learning to fix different things, like tofu, to keep things interesting. I've eaten it before, but never cooked with it in its "natural" state so going to Alyx's and seeing her just whip up savory breakfasts and other nummy items has been a big help. Today for lunch I decided to make a quick stir-fry with a leftover chicken breast, sweet bell peppers, onions and garlic. SO yummy, and probably something I wouldn't have thought to do before. Made it with a batch of mashed cauliflower because I wanted yummy comfort food due to this icky weather.

Yeah, yeah I said it. ICKY weather! I'm not sure when it happened, if its a product of living here for 3+ years or if its because my body fat % is so low, but I'm actually feeling COLD. The wind and rain the last two days has not been fun... Right about now the thought of getting stationed in Hawaii is sounding kind of awesome!

Anyways, enough of my rambling for the moment, here are today's photos - what you can't see are the goosebumps covering most of me. I was in and out of that bikini as quick as possible so that I could be warm wearing clothing :)

I'm happy with the definition I'm getting in my quads, and that in my back/arms. Once I'm all tan I think things will pop really well.

This weeks workout plan.

Monday:

10 min warmup

Pull-ups till Fail x 3

Squats till fail x 3

Plyo lunges till fail x 3

Push-ups till fail x 3

In and Out Squat Jump till fail x 3

Burpees till Fail x 3

45 mins Stairs

Tuesday:

1 hour run

30 min stairs

30 min bike

(10 min abs at home of my choice)

Wednesday:

10 min warmup

Pull-ups to fail x 3

Lat Pull-downs w/80lbs x 15 reps x 3 sets

Seated Row w/80lbs x 15 reps x 3 sets

Smith calfs w/50lbs on bar (33 regular calves, 33 pigeon toe, 33 penguin) x 3

66 Push-ups x 3

45 min run - slow, 3% incline

Thursday:

30 min stairs

1 hour run

30 min abs - 10 minute plank, 5 minute sit-ups, 5 min bike crunches, 5 min twisting crunch, 5 min oblique twists (Never stop, Don't QUIT)

Friday:

1 hour stairs

And this week I get 2 days of rest. No yoga, no outdoor run, nothing for both Saturday and Sunday.

Meal Plan

Wake-up/Pre-gym: Protein, 1 serving of berries

Post Gym: Protein, veggies

Snack: Protein

Lunch: Protein, veggies

Mid-day snack: Protein

Dinner: Protein x 2, veggies

Shooting for calories to be around 1,200 a day. And my "cheat" snack is a serving of baby carrots!

Its interesting to me when I talk with people. They either can't believe that I'm surviving on so little food, or the fact that I have very few carbs in my diet (other than those that are naturally occurring).

Yes I realize that to use this as an everyday "guideline" would be ridiculous, but for a short period of time, prepping for this contest, its perfectly fine. I'm making sure I'm taking my supplements and getting all of my needed vitamins/minerals. Yes I'm crankier than normal, and yes I tend to get tired easier. But I'm doing this with a goal in mind.

I don't think there is one single thing wrong with having a healthy goal, ie competition/race/etc and doing the most you can to achieve it. This past week when Alyx took my bikini photos after I got the spray tan I couldn't believe how night and day I felt about this competition. I'd started to have those little self doubts, your too fat still, you don't have enough definition still, you'll never be pretty enough to compete with those other women... blah blah blah.

BUT I put on those ridiculous heels, a bikini over top of my new tan, and felt AMAZING! I really truly felt beautiful. Like I have a something to be proud of in my journey. I know some people don't understand this, but on the day to day, its hard to remember just how far I've come. I live in this skin. I look down everyday and see my thighs, and at times to me they still look like a solid size 10-12...

But I get those moments, those glimpses of what other people might see... And it shocks me. I'm sitting here at the computer wearing a size 1 pair of jeans. Since the day I became aware of sizes, and how much you actually do get judged on your appearance, I have NEVER been a size 1. Hell, until recently I hadn't been a size 6! I don't think I plan on trying to maintain this size, mainly because I miss things like apples. But if I can find a comfortable/healthy weight/size range that allows me to maintain a 4/6 I think I will be a happy happy camper after all of this is said and done.

Enough of my rambling for now. I need to get into the kitchen and get tonight's dinner of Spaghetti squash, spaghetti sauce (which I wont be eating), pesto (which I will be eating), and salad going. Night everyone!